Watch me as I attempt to justify this colossal waste of time and bandwidth.
For years I’ve stared at the piles of dics in my room and thought, “how hard would it be to rank these bad boys?”. I’ve never had the balls to try, overwhelmed by the enormity of the task and the utter ridiculousness of trying to decide which is a better album, Shawn Colvin’s amazing Fat City or the Judas Priest classic Screaming For Vengeance. I mean, comparing music across genres is a preposterous enough exercise to begin with, but when you add to it that I couldn’t for the life of me do it objectively without allowing the personal memories surrounding each album to infect the process and it becomes impossible. Which got me thinking: why fight those memories? Why not embrace them?
Let’s face it, I am not now, nor have I ever attempted to be, a musician. I do a mean karaoke, but I’m not really a singer either. So for me to try and provide any sort of critical analysis of music would be ridonkulous. Plus, my musical tastes aren’t exactly what one would call “discerning”. Brutal truth: I own multiple Nickelback albums. To me the word “mainstream” is not a dirty word. In fact, most of what I listen to is considered unoriginal crap by most critics and music snobs. I don’t really have a problem with that, never did. I like what I like because, well… I like it! I think Bon Jovi said it best when they named a compilation album 1,000,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong. (Although to be honest, I think Bon Jovi kinda sucks. I’m only a borderline fan. But the sentiment is right.)
So rather than try and be critical, I thought, “why not just rank based on what they mean to ME”. Each album in my collection is there for a reason. I love the band, I love a song, I needed something for a certain mood, it was only a $1, whatever. While I have plenty of records that I don’t really listen to anymore (if I ever really did) and wouldn’t mind losing, I don’t really regret buying any of them either. There was a reason at the time. And for all the useless musical junk I’ve accumulated, I’ve also stumbled onto some of my favorite albums of all time just by taking a flier on something. So really, at the end of the day it’s all about me and the circumstances surrounding how a particular record came into my possession. And more importantly how – and how often – said record worked its way into my rotating playlist. So that, dear friends, is what this little ol’ blog is about: the music I own and what it means to me. You will no doubt agree and disagree with many of my rankings. Awesome. I love debate when it comes to this stuff. Have at it. Tell me I’m insane. I won’t mind, honestly. Just keep in my mind that I won’t be changing my opinions just because you want me to. I don’t care if U2 *IS* one of the biggest bands that ever lived, they’ll always be just “meh” in my books, not because I can’t recognize their obvious talents, but because I never took music as seriously as they did and at the end of the day I just want a good guitar riff and a decent vocal, not a political or social browbeating. Got it? Good.