ECW Hardcore TV – 11/21/95

“Let’s get ready to ru-ru-ru… ah, screw it.” *SQUASH*

ECW
“HARDCORE TV”
Date: Tuesday, November 21, 1995 (taped: 11/18/95)
Location: ECW Arena (Philadelphia, PA)

Footage from November To Remember is the order of the day for tonight’s episode. To commemorate the occasion they look to have cleaned the ring apron and bought some new electrical tape for the ropes. Who says ECW isn’t classy?

DON E. ALLEN vs. THE BROADSTREET BULLY
(referee: John Finnegan)

Buh Buh Ray Dudley comes down to handle special ring announcing duties. He’s got Sign Guy, Chubby, Dances With, and Big Dick with him. He’s also dressed in a white tux jacket and top hat (over the tyedye, of course). Big “What’s your name?” chant from the Arena faithful. Buh Buh Ray rather eloquently welcomes us to the 3rd annual “Novemba to Rememba”. He tries to rip off Michael Buffer but gets stuck on “let’s get ready to ru-ru-ru-ru-rumble”. Big Dick smacks him with the crutch so Buh Buh beats on Don E. Allen to vent his frustration. He plants him with a Buh Buh Bomb. The Bully decides to stick up for his fellow jobber and jumps on Buh Buh’s back. He eats a stuttering Buh Buh Bomb as well. Finnegan counts the pinfall and Joel Gertner announces him as the winner (along with a time), so I guess it counts.

Result: No contest.

BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY vs. THE BROADSTREET BULLY & DON E. ALLEN
(referee: John Finnegan)

~ see above ~

Result: Buh Buh Ray Dudley via pinfall (1:06)

Opening montage airs.

Backstage Joey does some hype for the upcoming matches and pimps the N2R video. On tap is the Scorpio/Sandman vs Public Enemy double gold match, with the winner of the fall facing Mikey later on in the show for ECW Heavyweight title. We come back from a commercial and Joey recaps some Public Enemy highlights from years past.

*ECW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP*
*ECW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP*
2 GOLD SCORPIO & THE SANDMAN (w/ Woman) vs. THE PUBLIC ENEMY
(referee: John Finnegan)

The Arena crowd fires up a “please don’t go” chant at TPE while Joey talks about how they’ve been receiving offers from “all over” now that they’re not tied to ECW via the tag belts. Right, because nobody who holds an ECW title would ever leave. *cough*. I believe they had either already signed with WCW at this point or were on the verge of it. The intros take forever thanks to all the usual gaga and some Scorpio trash talk which leads into a dance off. Everybody gets into the act, even Woman with a brief cabbage patch. Scorp and Sandman go on the attack while TPE plays to the crowd and after quickly dumping Rocco, they doubleteam Grunge in a corner. They whip him across the ring but Johnny ducks under the dual clothesline on his way back out and Rocco flies in off the top to take out the champs with a double clothesline. Grunge gets a couple of clotheslines himself and then TPE takes both men out with clotheslines over the top. That’s a lot of clotheslines. TPE dances. CLIP. Hiptoss reversal by Grunge lands Sandman on the floor, Rocco pescados out on top of him. Seeing his chance, Scorpio vaults to the top rope and does a twisting crossbody onto Grunge. Rocco’s right back into the ring with a double axehandle off the top, but here comes Sandman who slingshots in. He was trying to land on Rocco but didn’t get enough distance so he just kind of plows into him with a shouldertackle upon landing. Everybody bails at that point and grabs a chair which leads to a samurai chair fight in the ring. Eventually they ditch the chairs and things devolve into brawling. Scropio grabs a fan’s prosthetic hand and Rocco grabs some kind of food, both of which get used for nefarious purposes. Sandman counters the food with a soda, but in the ring Grunge gets two off a Vader bomb on Scorpio. The food fight continues outside the ring as a pumpkin pie gets involved. Grunge is officially bleeding at this point as he takes a series of rapid fire punches from Scorpio. Woman tries to get Sandman back into the ring but he’s a little punch drunk. Must have been the pumpkin. She manages to get him onto the apron where he gets his wits about him enough to slingshot into the ring onto Rocco with a legdrop. Scoopslam and a tag to Scorpio as suddenly it’s a real tag match again. Scorp hits a slingshot splash onto Rocco. CLIP. Woman shouts instructions from the outside and it occurs to me that her dress looks like it cost more than ECW was probably worth by itself at the time. She canes Rocco across the skull and Sandman goes flying out after Grunge. They brawl on the outside and a table gets involved. It doesn’t break when Sandman gets backdropped onto it though. Rocco has recovered from the cane shots pretty quickly, as he suplxes Scorpio out and over the top rope. I’ve seen that spot a bunch over the years and I’m always amazed at how guys don’t just totally destroy their backs with the way they get twisted up going over. Never mind the landing. Grunge takes another stab at the table, but Sandman blocks the suplex and reverses to a front suplex which puts Johnny through it. Rocco to the rescue though, as he takes out Sandman with a slingshot somersault. Scorpio’s right there with a cane shot though. In the ring Rocco and Sandman go through a hurricanrana/powerbomb reversal sequence (which is so out of left field it’s insane) but Scorpio breaks the pin with some cane shots (or broom handle; who’s to say really). Scorpio hits a Stinger Splash and then a gorgeous moonsault only to have Grunge break up the pin. Scorpio must be booked to win tonight because his effort is solid. Just sayin’. CLIP. Double noggin’ knocker by Grunge on the champs, but Scorpio ducks out of the way of the Drive By and Rocco hits Johnny. Sandman, still loopy from the noggin’ knocker, pratfalls onto Grunge for the three count. Champs retain.

Result: 2 Cold Scorpio & The Sandman via pinfall (8:12 shown).

We get a replay of the finish and Joey highlights via telestrator that Scorpio, while essentially out cold on the mat, grabbed Grunge’s ankle during the pinfall to prevent a kickout. As a result of the win, Sandman gets to face Mikey later for the Heavyweight title. Scorpio revives his fallen partner with a cold beer. After a brief cabbage patch from Sandman, Scorpio – DROPS THE BEER! The crowd boos and Sandman shoots him a nasty look, but all’s good in the hood and they hug it out.

*ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP*
THE SANDMAN (w/ Woman) vs MIKEY WHIPWRECK ©
(referee: John Finnegan)

So we cut right to Sandman’s (re)entrance where lo and behold “Superstar” Steve Austin makes an appearance with the mother of all Pearl Harbor jobs, sending Sandman’s face right into the camera. He opens a can of whoop ass on him with the cane, a chair, and a stungun on the railing. He pops a beer to celebrate. Hmm. Wonder if he’ll ever do that again. He flips a double bird to the crowd and really, “Stone Cold” is pretty much being born before our eyes. Damage Control comes out to take away the Sandman and Joey jumps to the conclusion that Austin will get the title shot.

Result: No contest.

*ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP*
STEVE AUSTIN vs. MIKEY WHIPWRECK ©
(referee: John Finnegan)

Back from the break and we have a referee as Joey says it’s official. For the record that would be the second scheduled match of N2R which was bait-and-switched, although to be fair I hardly think Don E. Allen vs The Broadstreet Bully was baiting anyone. Mikey makes his way out looking less than thrilled at the prospect of facing Austin. Of course, he always looks like he’s ready to shit a brick, so this isn’t all that different. Austin lays the badmouth on the champ and declares that as far as he’s concerned, Mikey is now Eric Bischoff. Suddenly Joey wants to see Mikey/Eric get his ass kicked. Austin starts trashing Hogan and Flair and then turns and launches himself at the champ, spilling both men outside. Stungun on the railing for Mikey this time. Back in the ring and Austin goes to work with brawling mixed with taunting. Back outside for a whip into the railing before Austin just starts slapping Mikey around like a little bitch. It’s easy to say in retrospect, but you have to admit that Austin just LOOKED like a megastar especaiily when in the ECW ring with so much flotsam and jetsam. He hits the Hogan combo (big boot and legdrop) but of course that’s not enough for three as Mikey kicks out and then gets tossed over the top for his troubles. Another drop across the railing and the champ hasn’t hit a move yet. No sooner do I type that then he reverses a whip into the railing and pounds Austin with a flurry of punches. Austin tries to beg off, rolling back into the ring and pointing to his previously torn tricep, but he’ll get no quarter from the ECW Champ. Austin eventually reverses a whip though and nails the stungun which causes Joey to declare that it’s all over, assuring that it won’t be. OMG! He kicked out! I’m so shocked! Stupid announcer. Austin lays in some more of the asswhoop in the corner but Mikey hits a sunset flip out of a backbodydrop attempt and after a long “full moon” shot thanks to some trunk puling, rolls Austin up for the one! Two! Three!

Result: Mikey Whipwreck via pinfall (4:40).

Not happy with the loss (or with having his pasty white ass exposed for all the world to see), Austin hits a vicious clothesline on Mikey. Then it’s another double bird for the assembled masses before making his exit. Battered and bruised, Mikey retains his title.

Raven’s hair cuts a promo about Ultimate Jeopardy where apparently, if he loses he loses Beulah. Meanwhile a scroll across the bottom of the screen announces that Austin, Whipwreck and Sandman will all be on the next show with comments about the way N2R went down. You know, I think it says a lot about how boring Raven’s promos are if they feel compelled to add something of note to the proceedings. Raven finally gets the hair out of his face and dear Lord does he look STONED. He rambles on about Tommy and their past. Apparently having had enough of Raven’s lame promo, Tommy BARRELS into him (wearing a hairnet… why?!) and pounds away shouting, “I WAS THERE FOR YOU!”. He gets in a few shots and then leaves, so Raven finishes the promo. That. Was. Odd.

Backstage Joey mentions that despite being suspended awhile back by Bill Alphonso, Paul E. Dangerously still works for ECW “behind the scenes”. So he shoots it to the ring where Paul E. is prepped to make it truly a November To Remember.

Paul E. has his headset on even though he’s using a house mic, I guess to prove that he’s not really a character anymore but just a hardworking producer (or something). He asks for the lights to be taken out and the crowd amuses themselves with an “ECW” chant in the prolonged blackness. When the lights return, who do we find in center ring? If you guessed a returning Sabu, then you’d be right! Sabu and Paul E. bury the hatchet with a handshake and with that, the show ends.

Overview: Any show that centers around a TPE match is not likely to be high on my list of things to praise. This is certainly no exception. The double gold match was a disaster. That being said, the opening Buh Buh Ray Dudley bit was amusing, the Austin-Whipwreck segment was a decent bit of business (if ridiculously short) and Sabu’s return is a pretty seminal moment in ECW history, so it’s not a complete loss. I just wish they could have found some decent wrestlers to mix in with all the crap. Was the independent scene so bad in the mid-90’s that the best they could come up with were losers like Don E. Allen and Dino Sendoff? Or were guys that actually had a handle on wrestling basics just not interested in being part of the ECW experience? I guess we’ll never know.

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