ECW Hardcore TV – 11/14/95

Disembodied Tommy Dreamer will haunt your dreams.

ECW
“HARDCORE TV”
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 1995 (taped: 10/28/95)
Location: ECW Arena (Philadelphia, PA)

We open the show with Cactus Jack in the ring telling the ECW faithful how proud he is of new ECW World Champ Mikey Whipwreck. But it was ruined by the ECW fans, I guess because they booed him when he tried to celebrate with Mikey. His instinct now is to slap the “shit” out of Tommy Dreamer, but that’d give the fans enjoyment, so he vows instead to give them the most boring match they’ve ever seen. Random thought: it’s crazy how slim Cactus was at this point of his career. He adds that Tommy can bring Terry Funk with him, but he doesn’t need Raven at his side because he’s his own man.

In the dark somewhere, Tommy Dreamer’s floating head promises Cactus a fight.

CACTUS JACK vs. TOMMY DREAMER (w/ Terry Funk)
(referee: Jim Molineaux)

Funk gets a hearty reception and a “TERRY” chant. Lock-up and a clean break from Jack. Another lock-up followed by another clean break. They’re intersplicing the match with clips of Dreamer’s promo, reflecting on how frustrating the match was (basically, everytime I type “CLIP”, you’re also getting Tommy’s narration). Lock-up and now it’s Tommy with the advantage. He slaps Cactus in lieu of a clean-break, but Cactus won’t bite, grabbing a side headlock instead. Dreamer fights free but gets taken over with hiptosses instead. CLIP. On the outside where Cactus refuses weapons from the fans and slaps on another headlock on the floor. CLIP. Cactus works the arm weakly, so Tommy grabs him by the nuts to counter, leading to a pumphandle slam (of sorts). Cactus clothesline by Tommy sends them outside. CLIP. Chair shot from Tommy, but Cactus won’t fight, refusing the chair. Another chairshot by Dreamer and here comes Raven with a Pearl Harbor attack from down the aisle. Funk chases after Raven. CLIP. Cactus threatens a Cactus elbow off the apron, but he gets down instead. CLIP. *Finally* Cactus is giving in, as he starts pounding on Tommy with some fists to the face. He motions for the camera to come closer to we can get a close-up of him punching Tommy. Headbutt follows. More punches as Cactus is really stiffing Dreamer here. Things are really plodding at this point, as it’s “punch, stall, punch”. Cactus suddenly gets on the mic, saying he had vowed never to put his body on the line for the ungrateful ECW fans, and now he’s hurt his fist punching Tommy so much, so he declares the match a “no contest” and leaves. Molineaux says, “no so fast”, so Cactus demands to be counted out. CLIP. Funk tries to get Cactus to come back by calling his mother a “whore”, along with his wife, his girlfriend, and even Dewey. Cactus eventually makes his way back and starts slugging it out with Dreamer. (I seem to recall that the thing he said which finally ticked Cactus off was when he called Bischoff a homo, but that seems to have been clipped, or maybe I’m imagining it). Tommy wins that battle and delivers a piledriver as an exclamation point. He gets a chair and goes for another piledriver, but Cactus backdrops out of it. The Innovator Of Violence then hits an enzuguiri… with the chair wrapped around his foot! That was different. Cactus sends Dreamer outside where Raven delivers a DDT on the concrete. Funk goes after Raven again, but Cactus chairs him to stop that. CLIP. Funk gets revenge with some piston punches. He then takes somebody’s crutch and WALLOPS Cactus in the face with it! They brawl into the crowd, then back to ringside. Stevie Richards shows up to superkick Funk, but Terry blocks it, only to have Cactus attack with the crutch. In the ring Raven has Dreamer down and gets a pair of brass knuckles from Beulah and levels Tommy. Raven tapes the brass knuckles to Cactus’ cowboy boots, who then proceeds to punt Funk in the jewels. YEOUCH!! That was NOT COOL! CLIP. Cactus double-arm DDT’s Dreamer and gets a two-count, but Raven is on the house mic demanding Cactus use the chair to finish Tommy off once and for all. Cactus doesn’t appear to be listening, as he keeps going for pinfalls. Raven keeps at it, sounding like Darth Vader. “Use the chair, Jack”. Tommy counters with a chairshot of his own and nails the DDT for the win!

Result: Tommy Dreamer via pinfall (15:26 shown, including interview bits).

Raven DDT’s Dreamer, Cactus double-arm DDT’s Molineaux. Dreamer then closes out the promo portion by telling some story about Raven’s love of the Doors and Pearl Jam (not as interesting as it sounds) and promises that Raven and Cactus will feel HIS pain at November To Remember. He ends by striking Raven’s crucifix pose.

Opening montage. Looks like the old clips are here to stay for the time being.

The Dudley’s cut a promo outside a tavern that is apparently called “Dudley’s”. Cool. Buh Buh Ray picks his nose while Dances With Dudley does the talking and Big Dick grunts. Apparently DW taught Buh Buh how to juggle, as well as how to say his name without stuttering. Or at least to speak fluent Spanish without stuttering. Okay, I’ll admit, this stuff with the Dudleys has been growing on me.

Miserlou in mid-show! Dudley Dudley laughs maniacally. Konnan makes his ECW TV debut and pimps AAA in Mexico. He’s looking for a chance to be a part of team extreme. Cactus Jack compares his punchdown of Dreamer to the one he took from Vader years prior (vicious if you’ve ever seen it). Fonzie spazzes out in the usual way. I don’t really need extreme close-ups of that man’s teeth. Honestly. The Eliminators in their leather and fur aren’t scared of the Pitbulls. Sign Guy is apparently “Silent But Dudley”. Buh Buh Ray meanwhile, even stutters when he sneezes, sending mucous onto the camera lens. Beulah’s Box is always open, just in case you forgot. He’s Bill Alphonso, in case your forgot that. Rocco Rock is giving Johnny Grunge a headache trying to explain the title situation. A bloody Dreamer is in the lockerroom with Taz and the Pitbulls, but nobody wants the cameras around, thankyouverymuch. Dances With Dudley gets more camera time. Steve Austin welcomes us to Monday NyQuil (again). Francine makes kissy-faces at the camera. Woman – looking incredible – stares a hole right through us. Raven tells Tommy that their histories are forever intwined.

LA PARKA & PSICOSIS vs. KONNAN & REY MISTERIO JR.
(referee: John Finnegan)

Rey and Psicosis starts things off. Lock-up won by Rey who beils Psicosis to the floor. Lucha exchange into a monkey-flip by Psicosis into more lucha stuff that ends with Rey strapping on a Fujiwara armbar. CLIP (now labeled “Extreme Highlights”, as if it was necessary to point out that they’ve hacked the match to pieces). Rey leapfrogs Psicosis onto the buckle then front flips off and into more lucha exchanges that ends when Rey drop-toeholds Psicosis outside and then follows with a shaky springboard hurricanrana. EXTREME HIGHLIGHTS. La Parka no sells a Rey Misterio headlock, dumping him on his face instead. Shoulderblock leads to a La Parka strut. Titl-a-whirl nothing. Rey shows off his speed in the corner but his plancha is caught, and La Parka STRUTS while carrying Rey-Rey! He puts him on the corner buckle and pinches his cheek. La Parka RULES! Of course Rey isn’t too pleased about that and hurricanranas La Parka right out. He does the empty 619 to to show off. EXTREME HIGHLIGHTS. Konnan’s in now, sitting on the corner buckle as Psicosis tries to biel him off. Konnan armdrags him instead. La Parka comes in with a wheelbarrow but Konnan just uses that to take both men over with a headscissor/armdrag. He then sends Psicosis over the top with a clothesline before playing to the fans. On the outside Rey BRAINS Psicosis by throwing a chair at him. Rey rolls Psicosis back inside, when Konnan hits a tigerbomb. La Parka comes in and eats a pair of German suplexes. EXTREME HIGHLIGHTS. Konnan hoists Psicosis onto his shoulders and Rey hurricanranas him off. Konnan dropkicks La Parka through the ropes and Rey hits a springboard plancha onto Psicosis. Another one for La Parka. EXTREME HIGHLIGHTS. La Parka readies a chair shot, but Konnan monkeyflips Rey into a dropkick to the chair! That was pretty badass. Psicosis joins the fun with a senton bomb, but there’s no water in the pool. Rey goes up top with the chair and delivers a crossbody on Psicosis with it. EXTREME HIGHLIGHTS. La Parka and Psicosis deliver stereo suicidas, but they BOTH meet chairs. Konnan and Rey head inside and Rey delivers an assisted somersault splash onto Psicosis. Konnan hits a weak suicida on La Parka. He rolls back in afterwards. Finnegan races through the count and we’re clearly headed for a countout. The crowd is not too happy with that result.

Result: Konnan & Rey Misterio Jr. via countout (7:15 shown).

BTW, if you think it was annoying to constantly have to read “EXTREME HIGHLIGHTS”, imagine how it felt to watch it.

They play a video package to hype November To Remember. The WWE 24/7 machine plays some sort of Nirvana knock-off over it all. Lots of clips of past N2R’s are included. Also included are most of the big moments from the past couple of months that have lead into the matches on the upcoming show. Very extensive. On second thought, it’s more of a Screaming Trees knock-off.

Overview: This was actually a well balanced show for ECW. The Cactus-Dreamer match was a very interesting bit of storytelling, while the lucha match provided the action. The promos in the middle kept a lot of other guys in the mix and the closing music video really helped with the final build towards N2R. In essence, there was a minimal amount of out-and-out crap. Thumbs up.

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