I guess The Sandman really DID grow to love championship gold.
Date: Tuesday, November 7, 1995 (taped: 10/28/95)
Location: ECW Arena (Philadelphia, PA)
(Last Week On ECW) Mikey Whipwreck hits a splash off the top rope onto a ladder (and The Sandman) to win the ECW World Championship, allowing Joey to rip off Al Michaels (“Do you believe in miracles?”). Cactus Jack tries to celebrate with Mikey but gets chased off by the babyface side of the lockerroom. A bloody Sandman vows to do things “his way”.
Opening montage. This week’s opening includes a lot of stuff from the early days of ECW, for reasons which will become apparent later on.
EL PUERTO RICANO vs. JT SMITH
(referee: John Finnegan)
JT is now sporting an Italian flag on his trunks. He works on his obscene Italian hand gestures while on his way to the ring. JT stalls, then trips over the ropes trying to slingshot his way in. Ricano hits a springboard moonsault and covers for what SHOULD have been a three, but for some reason Ricano gets off of JT. He looked confused there. JT takes a breather on the outside but eats a springboard plancha for his troubles. They go back in where JT turns the tides with a boot to the groin. Ricano had that coming. He was being way too cocky for a jobber. JT follows with a scoop slam, then falls backawards off the top in an attempted moonsault and lands HARD on his head. Ricano covers for two. JT recovers quickly though and snaps off a NICE looking belly-to-belly suplex. Slingshot sit-out powerbomb finishes Ricano for the 1-2-3! Nice finisher. How come nobody ever uses that?
Result: JT Smith via pinfall (1:59).
No time to celebrate the win though, as Sandman is on the scene and starts caning the crap out of both men. This is apparently “his way”. He’s still bloody from the title match (this is later in the night from the same taping). After administering the beatdown, he declares over the mic that “now I’m pissed off”, then leaves. Well then. That accomplished a lot. Thanks, Sandman.
DANCES WITH DUDLEY vs. HACK MYERS
(referee: Jim Molineaux)
Joey declares that this should be “an outstanding match-up”. I have to disagree with your police work there, Joey. DWD gets into it with Hat Guy on the outside. The match begins with the usual kick-punch exchange so the fans get the “shah” chants out of their system. Guillotine legdrop on the apron by Hack. He then does his knee-to-the-head-driver-thing off the top rope and yep, there’s your match.
Result: Hack Myers via pinfall (1:17).
Wouldn’t you know it, here comes Sandman again. He canes away while shouting “SHAH! [BLEEP]” over the house mic. Nothing to see here. Please disperse.
Time for some flashbacks, as we get footage from “Last Year At The November To Remember”. Things begin with some lame guitarist screwing up the national anthem. This draws out 911 and Paul E. Dangerously to put an end to the Slash-wannabe’s evening via a chokeslam. Other highlights: The Pitbulls defeat Axl & Ian Rotten. Scorpio hits the 450 on Mr. Hughes. Shane Douglas gets beat on with the ECW title by Ron Simmons. Scorpio adds a moonsault to the damage. Shane vows to bring in somebody (it’s inaudible no matter how high I crank the volume on my TV) as his partner to take on the team of Simmons & Scorpio (Note: it was apparently Brian Pillman). Dean Malenko and Taz hook it up. Chris Benoit famously breaks Sabu’s neck (complete here in SUPER slow-mo). That costs Benoit a chokeslam via 911. The Public Enemy regained the ECW Tag Titles by defeating Mikey Whipwreck & Cactus Jack. A bloody Tommy Dreamer defeated Tommy Cairo. A blinded Sandman is almost caned by Woman, but Tommy – who blinded Sandman to begin with – comes to his aid, only to have Sandman reveal his blindness wasn’t real (or at least was no longer an issue) and destroys Tommy with the cane.
Back in the now, Lance Wright pimps the upcoming events, including the return to the ring of “Superstar” Steve Austin. This includes a clip of Austin’s interuption of last week’s Sandman/Mikey match. He also hypes Buh Buh Ray Dudley’s upcoming gig as a Ring Announcer, which includes his not-so-successful previous attempt to say his own name.
Backstage Joey hypes the match we’re about to see where both the Tag Titles and the Television Title were on the line. If Scorpio wins, he gets to pick a partner to be Tag Champ with him.
FLYBOY ROCCO ROCK Tag Team© (w/ Johnny Grunge) vs. 2 COLD SCORPIO Television©
(referee: John Finnegan)
Sandman tries to interfere yet again, but Johnny Grunge chases him off. Scorpio’s rockin’ some lime green ring gear. Crowd chants something at Rocco’s introduction, but I can’t make it out. Meanwhile Scorpio demands his weight be read as a “chiseled 235”, sending Joey into hysterics. It’s not THAT outrageous, Joey. Lock-up into some leapfrogs and Scorpio hits a dropkick. More rope running leads to Rocco hitting a couple of nice armdrag variants. CLIP. With Rocco outside, Scorpio dropkicks him through the bottom two ropes and skins the cat back in right into a pescado that SPLATS, as Rocco was savvy enough to step aside. Mini-frying pan shot by Rocco, who then hits himself over the head with it a few times to show how lame it is. Scorpio gets whipped over the railing into the front row, then eats a bottle of Gatorade. CLIP. Up in the Crow’s Nest Scorpio moonsaults from up top down onto Rocco who’s on a table. CLIP. Rocco, now busted open, gets super belly-to-back suplexed! One! Two! No, Rocco’s not finished yet. Scorpio calls for the 450, then hits a tombstone powerslam to set it up. Tumbleed Legdrop gets ONE! But Scorpio doesn’t want the pin. Another ONE! Nope, still not ready. ONE! TWO! But Rocco kicks out on his own this time. Scorpio places Rocco on the top turnbuckle looking for a straight superplex, but Rocco blocks it and dumps Scorpio stomach first to the mat. Off with a flying shoulderblock comes Rocco! One! Two! NO! CLIP. Table is in the ring and Scorpio gets SUPERPLEXED through it! Rocco drags his way over for the cover, but Scorpio barely gets the shoulder up in time. CLIP. Another table is in the ring now… and it’s on FIRE! Flyboy moonsaults himself through it and catches fire! Scorpio is kind enough to put him out before continuing the match. Joey interprets that as “respect”. I dunno, I wouldn’t want to try to pin a guy who’s on fire, but that’s just me. Scorpio then hands the TV title to Rocco and hugs him as if he’s giving up the title, but CLOTHESLINES Rocco out of his boots for the ONE! TWO! THREE! We have new tag team champions, folks.
Result: 2 Cold Scorpio via pinfall (6:26 shown).
Sandman comes in and canes Johnny Grunge before he can think about getting any revenge on Scorpio, and I think we all know who Scorp’s partner is going to be. Clip ahead to Scorpio on the mic, giving up one of the tag belts to Sandman as all the titles are “just too heavy” for one man to carry. So in the span of about an hour the Sandman went from losing the World Title to gaining one-half of the Tag Titles. The crack production staff adds a “2 GOLD Scorpio” graphic to cement that as his new (temporary) nickname.
Backstage Joey presents “just the facts”. Thank you, Jack Webb. He pimps the November To Remember line-up: The Public Enemy vs 2 Cold Scorpio/The Sandman for the Tag Titles AND the Television Title. Also, whoever gets the pin will face Mikey Whipwreck later in the night for the World Title, which means in theory Scorpio could hold all three titles at the end of the night. As could Rock or Grunge if either of them pins Scorpio during the tag match (thus earning the TV and tag titles). Of course they’d have to beat their new buddy Mikey in the end to do it. Assuming Mikey still has the title after facing Rey Misterio the night before in Jim Thorpe, PA. Everybody got all that?
(Last Week On ECW) We get a clip of Steve Austin’s Monday NyQuil portion of the Beulah’s Box segment.
Backstage Joey then throws it to footage of a “live” Beulah’s Box where Tod Gordon vows to fight Bill Alphonso. Of course, Fonzie shows up and chairs (barely) Gordon, pissing off Beulah pretty righteously. Fonzie’s not hearing it though, as she’s just a “woman”. Tod tries to fight back, but he eats more weak chairshots as a result. Beulah is STILL not happy. Fonzie calls her a “slut”, and NOW Gordon gets his revenge, flying into Fonzie in a rage. Clip ahead to Beulah beating down Fonzie as well. Clip again to Fonzie calling her a whore while the lockerroom tries to separate them. Another clip and once again Fonzie is ranting on the mic. That leads to the Miserlou…
Fonzie spazzes out on a backstage promo. He doesn’t say anything noteworthy, but he says it with GUSTO, baby! Rocco and Johnny sit in the park and try to figure out the jumbled mess of matches they’re involved in at N2R. Grunge is “more confused than switching parole officers”. They don’t want to have to beat Mikey up, but then again… that’s a lot of gold. So much for their new friendship. Stuttering Buh Buh Ray says his name. Steve Austin is passed out on the Monday NyQuil desk. He wakes up in time to realize he missed the main event because they put him to sleep again. Back to Rocco and Johnny. Rocco RIPS through the stips again at hyperspeed. Greatness. Buh Buh stutters some more, sending Big Dick into roid rage. Cactus Jack reminices about peer pressure and how he never succumbed to drugs. He’s still a junky though. A hardcore junky. Of course it’s all the ECW fans fault, which is why he hates himself now, as well as Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk. A bandaged Funk and Dreamer bond over violence. Cactus somehow ties Christopher Reeve into things. Rocco and Johnny are still confused. Finally Buh Buh Ray rips off Bugs Bunny for the inevitable “That’s all, folks!” ending.
Overview: Wow, this was a huge pile of nothing. A couple of squashes that existed only to further the Sandman angle, followed by a clipped-to-death match that might have been decent had we seen the whole thing. The promos were useful but uneventful. Not much of a show this week, kids.