Football Nerd Alert!

Patrick Crayton of the Dallas Cowboys is a moron. After losing to the Patriots by a 48-27 score on Sunday, Crayton told the media on Tuesday:

“Offensively, they are the real deal. I’m not going to lie about that. Defensively, I can tell you no, they’re not. They’re not (that good) at all. The only time they stopped us is when we had penalties. If that’s stopping us, it is what it is. Defensively, they are not the real deal.”

Because I’m obsessive about shit like this, I now present you the following:

Dallas Cowboys offense vs. New England Patriots defense, drive by drive

1ST DRIVE: 3 plays, 0 net yards, 0 penalties – PUNT

2ND DRIVE: 3 plays, -12 net yards, 0 penalties – PUNT

3RD DRIVE: 3 plays, 4 net yards, 0 penalties – PUNT

4TH DRIVE: 11 plays, 64 net yards, 1 off. penalties (-10 yds), 1 def pen (15 yds) – FIELD GOAL

5TH DRIVE: 11 plays, 84 net yards, 3 off. penalties (-20 yds), 0 def pen – TOUCHDOWN

6TH DRIVE: 7 plays, 74 net yards, 0 penalties – TOUCHDOWN

7TH DRIVE: 3 plays, -8 net yards, 1 off. penalty (-10 yards) – PUNT

8TH DRIVE: 6 plays, 18 net yards, 2 off. penalties (-13 yards) – PUNT

9TH DRIVE: 4 plays, 18 net yards, 0 penalties – FIELD GOAL

10th DRIVE: 1 play, 1 net yard, 0 penalties – INTERCEPTION

Crayton was quoted as saying “The only time they stopped us is when we had penalties”. Yet on their first three drives of the game the Cowboys failed to make a first down and were forced to punt. In none of those three drives was either team penalized. On their next three drives, in which they were penalized 4 times for 30 yards (while the Pats gave back 15 yards on a penalty of their own), they actually moved the ball and scored two touchdowns and a field goal. Following that were the ONLY TWO DRIVES during the entire game (out of 10, mind you) where the Cowboys were “stopped” in which they actually accrued penalty yardage. They were then essentially stopped on their next drive (getting only one first down) but managed a field goal because a long kickoff return gave them the ball at the Pats *23*. Their last “drive” was all of 1 play, which was picked off.

The final tally: 10 drives, 6 of which were definitive “stops” by the Patriots, only 2 of which had Dallas penalty yardage as part of the equation. The Pats also shut Dallas down inside the red zone on two more occasions, forcing field goals, again without the benefit of a penalty yardage advantage.

Athletes shouldn’t talk. Seriously.

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