Sometimes you totally rock an audition.
Sometimes you fall flat on your face.
And sometimes, you walk away knowing you did well, but you have no expectation that you’ll be getting cast.
Last night was one of those latter experiences. I went, I gave it my best and know that I didn’t embarrass myself, but at the same time I could just tell by the way things unfolded that I wasn’t being considered. Not in a bitter way, more in the inevitable “this wasn’t my time” kind of way. No hard feelings, no regrets, just a simple case of not being what the director wanted.
Which isn’t to say I know for a FACT that I didn’t get cast. I could get a call at any minute and be offered one of the two roles I was up for. I just don’t expect that to happen. Having been to enough auditions over the years – on both sides of the casting fence – I’ve learned to identify the signs that come when a director starts zeroing in on the people they want. You see the same actor reading a scene for the second or third time, clearly in an attempt to find a suitable match for them, while you sit back and think to yourself, “hmm… they haven’t asked *me* to read that scene.” It’s nothing concrete, but it’s a sign.
It’s kinda nice to be at peace with it. Like most people in this gig, I usually stress myself out awaiting “the call”, even when I don’t think I have a shot. The anticipation is unavoidable. But today I’m just rather calmly plowing through my day, not sweating it out. Even writing about it hasn’t got me all worked up. How refreshing.
So it appears as though I can actually take The Break I’ve been threatening. Unless someone calls tomorrow…