More Woof Sticks!

The lint catcher is full. Time to empty my brain…

* Just over a week away from one of my personal high holy days – NFL draft Saturday. My super-packed draft preview edition of the The Sporting News arrived in the mail yesterday. It gave me a mental erection.

* Found a new karaoke bar last night, albeit all the way down in Braintree. Still, the guy had EVERYTHING. His system was all computerized, so he didn’t need to fumble with CD’s. He basically said, “I’ll put you into rotation. When I call you up, just tell me what you want to sing, and I’ll punch it up. If it ain’t in the book, I probably have it anyway.” And he wasn’t kidding. Any karaoke DJ who can lay claim to having the MTV classic “Turn Up The Radio” by Autograph as part of his collection, is A-OK by me.

* This Red Sox offense is pretty awful. And now news that my man Coco won’t be back until after the first Yankees series, which means he will have missed close to a month due to this broken knuckle thing. Somehow I just can’t get excited about the phrase “Dustan Mohr, starting center fielder”.

* I was asked to “dress to impress” for a night on the town tonight. The problem I’ve just realized is that I don’t have any clothes that impress. This will require some creativity to pull off.

* A portion of conversation as we left rehearsal last night and headed to the karaoke place. “Dan’s not coming.” “Yeah, he doesn’t do bars.” “Oh. He seems like a moody bastard, doesn’t he.” “He’s also a cop, so you may want to lower your voice.” I’ll let you guess which end of the conversation *I* was on.


* I haven’t been to Blockbuster in two weeks. I am once again falling painfully behind in my quest to see all the good movies I’ve missed. Damn you, laws of time and space!

* I went to two, count ’em TWO Red Sox games last weekend. And I didn’t pay for either ticket! Which is good, because when a bottle of Coke is selling for $4.25 a pop inside that godforsaken hellhole of a stadium, I need all the extra cash I could get. And $7 for a fuckin’ sausage?! I mean, it was yummy and all, but seriously… $7?!?!

* Oh yeah, and as good as the seats were *location* wise, I still want to meet the moron who designed that place and decided it was a good idea to face the chairs themselves completely away from the action on the field. At least I got a good workout doing torso twists all weekend.

* Let me be person number 1,632,533 who has seen David Lynch’s Mullholland Drive and said to themselves, “Umm… what the fuck?”

* You know, I don’t usually like Eugene Levy. I find him annoying. But he cracks me up in The Mighty Wind something serious. Why can’t he be that funny more often?

* As gingerirish can attest, I’m still not able to say Sox second baseman Mark Loretta’s name without slipping into the Monty Python falsetto when I get to “Loretta”. I’m not sure I ever will.

* A couple of weeks ago I found myself a little… unfocused one Saturday afternoon (I’m no longer using the term “bored”, because to me it implies a dissatisfaction with the lack of something to do, which is not the case), and before I knew it I was watching some random MSL game on ABC. Despite my usual protestations that soccer is a boring spectator sport, I actually got into it. I still wish they’d score more (or at the very least take more actual SHOTS), but I followed the flow better than I usually do and started to – *gasp* – appreciate some of the strategy. I’m still fuzzy on the rules though. And would the occasional commercial break really kill them? Sometimes a guy just has to GO!

* I predict that variations of the “I googled myself / he googled himself” joke will become one of the most COMPLETELY overused gags in American pop culture before the end of this year, eventually settling in the top five with the likes of “talk to the hand” and “fo’ shizzle my nizzle”.

* Having read about two dozen mock drafts (and counting) in the last week or so, I’ve come to the conclusion that while a lot of the guys may know more about college football players than I do, they don’t know *shit* about NFL teams and their draft tendencies. In fact, this may need it’s own blog.


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