For several years now, a handful of my seemingly intelligent friends (mostly theater types, so take that for what it’s worth) have been telling me I should try writing. Despite my attempts to convince them otherwise, they seem to think that merely because I can whip together the occasional humorous email, that somehow I’ve got the soul of a writer buried deep within me. They are, of course, dead wrong. They remain, however, quite persistent, so in an effort to once again prove to them that in order to be a true writer one must actually have something WORTH saying, I have decided to start this blog.
It also doesn’t hurt that in my current field of endeavor I’m saddled with more down time than a Vietnamese hooker on National Blow Job Day(*). I need SOMETHING to pass the time while the cubicle walls slowly compress my soul.
So this is it. This is where I will, on occasion, empty the vessel that is my brain with random thoughts on stuff that makes up my mundane life. Don’t expect to find anything useful or poetic. There’s only about ten subjects which can hold my attention for more than a nanosecond, and most of those are already covered ad nauseum here on the world wide web by people far more eloquent and educated than I, so my two cents get seriously downgraded with the exchange. To quote the highly underrated Arc Angels, “I was down like a dollar coming up against a yen.”
By the way, those ten subjects? In no particular order: baseball, football, pro wrestling, music, movies, theater, food, sleep, love and sex. I don’t do politics, although I may wander over into that morass on occasion when I’m feeling frisky, but that’s usually because the guys on sports radio decide it’s become their province too. I may not know shit, but at least I’m aware of it. They should heed. I’m not much of a video game player, I don’t have cable TV, I never travel, and these days my favorite hobby is taking naps. My family also happens to live half a continent away, so in addition you’ll be hearing very little about my family/home life (I live alone). Nor do I have cute pet stories. In short, I have nothing interesting to say, which brings me back to my original point – I’m not a writer.
But I write funny emails, so somebody thought this was a good idea. My aim is to prove them wrong.
[Note from 2016 Woof: I have no idea what that (*) was for.]