A Welcome From The Future

If you are reading this post I must commend you for your willingness to scroll through miles of literary garbage to reach what is the beginning of my journey, even though it’s happening at some time in the middle (I hope). You’ll notice the date and timestamp for this particular entry is May 3, 1972, 12:50 PM. That is the date and time of my birth, and while I pride myself on being a quick learner I think it’s pretty clear that I didn’t come out of the shoot with full language and writing skills in tact (to say nothing of the fact that neither WordPress nor the internet existed at that time). I backdated this post to that point in time for a reason.

What follows is a collection of all the stuff I have written over the years at least as far as I could find. While I have never considered myself a “writer”, I have in fact written quite a lot since I first learned to put pen to paper. Most of it has been lost to time and bad record retention. What I wouldn’t give to have some of those wacky short-stories I wrote as a daydreaming kid or the volumes of song lyrics I pumped out while a disillusioned teenager. Sadly those scribblings aren’t likely to appear on this site barring a miracle recovery of lost files and/or notebooks somewhere in the recesses of my apartment or my parent’s barn. What I have saved, or at least what I consider a worthwhile read in some form or another, I have endeavored to upload to this blog. At one point I kept a LiveJournal account, most of which is now transferred here to Woofamania (I left the football picks and streak of WKRP quotes to rot in the ether). I gave up LJ sometime in late 2008 when Facebook became the more dominant form of social media and my long form writing dwindled considerably. Whatever occasional rants I may have gone on over on the Social Netwrk have likewise been shuffled over to the blog.

During my twenties I participated in a number of creative writing endeavors as a way of occupying my time during an extended break from (semi-)serious acting pursuits. Mostly that means posts and posts and contextless e-wrestling roleplays, but hey, I wrote them, I saved them, and they still kinda make me laugh in places, so I figured what the hell, throw ’em up. During the late 00’s I took to writing recaps of old wrestling TV shows that were popping up on the WWE On Demand channel, some of which got posted to a website under a pseudonym, because I have a weird tendency to do that (see also: the e-wrestling stuff). Along the way I have also written any number of music reviews, mostly for my own edification, before buckling under and creating a music-only blog back in early 2014. In time I will probably move those all over here as well (and depending on when you are reading this I may have already done so), just to be complete about the whole thing.

So yeah, between all of the above, along with whatever random scraps I could find while scouring old floppy disks and hard drives (for instance my one attempt at writing a 10-minute play), there is a fair amount of written content to be found. Not bad for a guy who claims not to be a writer. Of course the big question is “of what possible interest is any of this crap to persons outside of the author himself?” to which I can only reply, “I honestly have no idea”. That said, I’ve posted it anyway, if for no other reason than to satisfy my own narcissistic tendency to want to relive it all at moments of extreme boredom and it’s just so much easier to have it all in one convenient place.

I’ve done my best to post my inane ramblings in the order in which they were written (with a huge shout out to WordPress for allowing posts to be backdated right down to the minute). The LiveJournal and Facebook stuff was thankfully timestamped, most of the creative writing exercises I kept dutiful track of at least in terms of date published, and everything else I’m relying on “date saved” info or just plain ol’ anecdotal memory. It may not matter to you, but trust me, my OCD brain is struggling to keep this stuff in line. It ain’t easy bein’ me, ya know.

So again, I thank you for taking the time to read anything you may find here. Feedback is always welcome, although let’s be honest, the person I was when I wrote a lot of this is very different from the person I am today, so I may not have a good excuse for some of the tripe that you’ll encounter. Sorry about that. We can’t run from our pasts, I guess.

~ Woof, August 2016


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